Tag Archives: writing

Mental Health Awareness Letters – 21st May 2018

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As May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I had an idea to write a letter each day to a person, or group of people that have had an impact on my own personal health. The first portion of the month has been delayed, however I hope that I will catch up and there will be a daily post. Thank You for taking the time to read these and I appreciate any comments or support you can provide on each post.

Please remember that if you are struggling with your health, both physical or mental, there may be some triggers in these letters-please seek support if you find these letters trigger any distress. Look after yourself!!

Letter 21 –  Not everyone that has been abused has experienced physical abuse.

There are several forms of abuse, all of which are damaging.

I have never classed myself as an ‘abuse survivor’ because I always thought that what I went through is nowhere near as bad as many others and their stories. However, on the other hand my experiences have been damaging to me in their own right.

Those that have been abused, especially during childhood are far more likely to experience mental illness in their adulthood and often throughout childhood. The abuse may have been physical, sexual, emotional, neglect, verbal or psychological – each type can be identified in different ways, however people can experience more than one ‘category’ of abuse and symptoms can overlap. But abuse is not always obvious and I bet you have seen, walked past or sat by someone this week that is being abused/has been abused and you had no idea!! It can be easy to hide.

Support is crucial , sometimes you do not know what to say to someone when you find out they have been abused, but it is important not to treat a person differently, perhaps be more understanding and allow more time to process information (and of course be careful what you say). But you just need to be there.

Be Considerate

 

 

 

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I am only 27….

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I am only 27 years old (or young!) and I have lived through

  • Emotional Abuse and Bullying

  • Physical Abuse and Bullying

  • Self Harm

  • Anorexia

  • Bulimia

  • Binge Eating Disorders

  • Suicidal Thoughts

  • Loss of a Parent

  • Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

  • Anxiety

  • Depression

And you know what? I am still here!! Mental Illness is a difficult, harsh and life changing problem.

But

You can do it!! We are here for each other, if you are having a bad time, speak to someone – You can do it!!

I am getting closer and closer to a breaking point!!

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Hi everyone.

Firstly I apologise in advance for any foul language in this post!! You have been warned!!

Unfortunately at the moment I cannot really discuss in detail all the issues going on with some people as it could reflect badly on me and them,  I would rather wait until it is safe to discuss things.

I feel;

  • lost
  • broken
  • unsupported
  • stressed
  • Fed-Up
  • upset
  • sad
  • intimidated
  • useless

But these are only words. I have had enough of begging for help, waiting and waiting for nothing to happen. When people are supposed to help and pride themselves on helping but yet do not do that – what am I to do?

ALL I WANT IS SOME HELP AND SUPPORT!!

Now this is a complete rant but if I do not get it of my chest I do not know what would happen. My wife doesn’t deserve my mood swings, laziness and life ruining conditions, I am surprised she is still with me . I feel so sad and so angry, what on earth have I done to deserve this ill-treatment!!

I am not a suicidal person and I do not plan to ever end my life, but in all honesty I find myself each day thinking, wondering and some days wishing that I had not been born- I imagine how everybody would live if they did not have me in their life- to be honest I think the only people who would miss me is my wife, best friend and older brother Mark, well and of course my dogs-nobody else bothers and when they do it is only to pass information on to my ‘mother’ or to be nosey and give it the old;

” I’m here if you want to talk”

BULLSHIT – You are not here if I need to talk, that is just the “thing to say” – unless you actually mean it, but few people actually mean it!!

I am receiving Statutory Sick Pay, I cannot get UC payments as my wife earns ” Over the threshold” and PIP is a 6+ week waiting progress, ESA I cannot receive until my Statutory Sick Pay finishes financially I am going down the drain but of course it is MY FAULT because I am off work and I am putting myself in this situation, when the case is not this!!

In the famous words from myself

FUCK THIS SHIT!!

 

The Versatile Blogger Award

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I have been quiet the past few days-I have reverted back to my very much hated nocturnal state. But I am back!!

 

nervous friends GIF

I Hate you nocturnal brain!!

Firstly I would like to thank ‘Babbling Mummy’ for nominating me for The Versatile Bloggers Award!! For those of you that do not know about the award; you get nominated by other bloggers for your blog. Once nominated, you thank them as I have just done (although that is the kind thing to do isn’t it?) and write a short post with some facts about yourself, before nominating other bloggers for the award.

8 Facts about Myself

  1. I really hate certain noises. Also known as Misophonia (although I am not officially diagnosed-one thing at a time!) But do not come near me and crack bones, grind teeth or chew loudly with your mouth open because it makes me feel physically sick.
  2. I Love learning new languages. I speak 2 fluent languages, 1 at an intermediate level and 4 languages I learned when younger and was either fluent or nearly fluent in. I wish I knew so many more languages.
  3. I despise odd Numbers. Really, actually hate them – when I had an eating disorder I couldn’t eat rice without counting the grains.
  4. I was raised as the oldest child, but I actually have an older brother. Plus 3 older half-siblings.
  5. I can easily rewatch the same programme/movie again and again. I don’t think my wife really gets it!! I will happily watch Grey’s Anatomy, The Big Bang Theory, Harry Potter Movies and Friends back to back!!
  6. My dream job would involve mental health, animals and work to my own schedule-ideally from home.
  7. I love watching scary films but equally hate watching them – I am too jumpy and paranoid about reliving the films so I avoid them. Especially when they involve jumpy moments when there’s nothing and then suddenly a scary child screaming at you.  Or the one moment in Harry Potter that scares the daylight out of me – when Harry and Hermione visit Godric’s Hollow and that stupid snake jumps up at the camera!!
  8. I have a massive bucket list (I am planning a post for this in the future) but my top 5 completed bucket list tasks are:
  • Get my wood beads.
  • Achieve my Explorer Belt.
  • Achieve my Gold Duke of Edinburgh Award.
  • Visit Buckingham Palace. (I was awarded my DofE in the Gardens)
  • Live abroad for 6 months to volunteer.

 

My nominations

Here are my nominations for bloggers that I have discovered that I love to follow and I think they deserve some recognition for their work and writing.

 

I put pen to paper….finally

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One thing I have always wanted to do is write a book, my english and grammar is not great but that is why proof reading is a must!!

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I finally put pen to paper and started an introduction and chapter ideas.

I want this book to be personal, yet helpful and of course the main topic in the discussion is my most passionate subject; Mental Health.

I want to be a person that makes a difference, if I can change the life of just one person then I can be happy.

I also put up an important image on my social media which I will also put here ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

I have no idea how to publish a book and whether it will be a e-book or hardcopy but a dream of mine has always been to see a book in a shop with my name on it. Who knows, maybe this will just be something I write and keep safe or it could just be the start of something amazing.

What topics would you want to see covered in a book about mental health?

8 Pieces of Advice for Anyone Starting College With a Mental Illness

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Find my Published Article on The Mighty @

8 Pieces of Advice for Anyone Starting College With a Mental Illness

“What’s that? Anxiety? Depression? Oh, I had that and I know loads of people that have it too — you’ll be fine!”

Ugh.

Yes, anxiety and depression is becoming more commonplace, perhaps because they are being talked about more, better diagnosed and less stigmatized. Although, stigma still exists in my opinion. We are all different and anxiety and depression affect us in similar yet different ways. But mental illness shouldn’t stop anyone from going to college; whether online or on campus.

Here are my top eight pieces of advice for anyone starting college with anxiety or depression:

1. Take baby steps.

You might feel pressured as a freshman by others drinking, joining clubs and being outspoken in class. This does not mean you have to be the same or do the same things. Your study is your journey and you need to take it in small, manageable steps. Set goals one step at a time.

2. Don’t be a hermit.

No matter how hard it is, even if you aren’t taking part in the “traditional college experience” (whatever that is), do not lock yourself away. This doesn’t mean I’m telling you to go out and talk to everyone, but perhaps, take a walk, go to the shop, gym or library — just get out of the house. And remember to be vigilant and be safe.

3. Take advantage of student support.

Most colleges will have student services. Make use of them because that is what they are there for. Ask about well-being courses, counseling, assessments, support or third parties that can help you or offer support when or if you’re struggling.

4. Undertake a learning difficulty assessment.

This obviously is not relevant to everyone, but I would definitely recommend it, even if it is of the slightest interest to you. These assessments are long and involve a one on one discussion with an assessor, but they are not just there to diagnose dyslexia, they assess for other things too. And school can help you apply for the funding to cover the cost.

5. It can be scary, but that’s OK.

College can be scary. New rooms, new teachers, new lecturers, new materials and everything is different. But it will get easier, take a deep breath and walk into that room.

6. It is OK to cry.

There will be days you don’t want to get up, go to a class or an activity, and you just want to fall apart. It is OK to cry. It may be embarrassing at first, but once you start, you will let go of so much built up emotion and things will probably seem better.

7. Talk.

Talk to someone; whether that is a friend, teacher, student support or a stranger, have someone to talk to. Or things might build up. It is so hard to share and talk about, but there is always someone willing to listen. Sometimes it takes a while to find them, but they are there.

8. You are number one.

This is the most obvious — but it is the first thing we forget. Look after yourself. Go for walks, take a moment to breathe, meditate, read or whatever takes your fancy. And of course, remember the basics: wash, eat and do your work. You are number one and need to keep yourself as healthy as you can.

You are worthy and you can do it!