My In-Laws Didn’t come to my Wedding


? ? RED FLAG ? ?

OK, yes maybe I should have seen this sooner, however when you are love bombed, you overlook any strange stories you are told, you also accept excuses no matter how strange they may seen. If someone tells you certain people, such as family or friends are bad for them, or have been abusive, you believe them. Right?

Back in 2014 I married my partner, throughout the process I dropped hints about family and whether she was sure she didn’t want her family there, one day she turned around and told me that if I invited them (without her knowledge) and they turned up at the venue, she would not walk down that aisle, that she would leave and “that would be that. Obviously I did not want that to happen at the time, so I did not get in touch or contact them, after all it was not really my place. As far as I was aware, the day would be ruined with their attendance, them changing things or upsetting us (as well as myself being told on several occasions they disagreed with same sex couples and would not even keep a television show on the TV if there was any talk of anything other than “normal” hetrosexuality).

We married on our 2 year anniversary and had been engaged about 2 weeks short of 2 years, you could say that in itself was another red flag. Did I think it was fast? Yes. But I WAS happy.

Later on, married and plodding along slowly in life, my in laws became involved in our lives again. We were looking at houses to buy and there had been a death in the family. I often sat and quietly thought in my head, things were odd, or that the way people spoke to each other or treated each other did not match how I was told to expect or thought I would expect. It was every now and then I thought to myself; “Did I imagine she told me all those awful things?” and the simple answer to this was no – I did not imagine the things I was told. It is a shame that whilst I saw the Mask my ‘Wife’ wore in front of others, I failed to see that another mask was being worn for me. Neither of these masks portrayed the true person I thought I knew. The person I married. Once that mask came down, it revealed a person I do not know.

Once my in laws were in my life more than before, small things such as becoming friends on social media with some of the family happenned, for the two of us (if they were friends before then my privacy settings had to be changed), there was also many things I could not put on there or was told I should not put up, because they would see it. It was at this point a post arose about how someone really felt about our wedding day. As well as those family and friends commenting on that. They obviously worried about it later on as it was deleted, however not soon enough and not only did we see it, it was saved. And before you ask…. No it has not been discussed, it was just ignored and not acknowledged. I have hidden names, pictures and any foul language also from these saved shots.

Personally, on seeing this, I got a little upset. Deep down I knew why they were not there, (whether truth or not) it was not me that prevented an invite, in someway I could have gone against my partners wishes, however that would have resulted in no wedding. Looking back now, I would have avoided a lot of problems, however you can only do what you feel is right at the time. But not only did it stop there, family and friends, some of whom I had met also felt the need to add comments onto this online post. Again, pictures, names and foul language have been hidden.

Many of these people carried on chatting as normal too once they were back into my partners life. I personally do not understand how some people can be so different, I guess the word is two faced, however this could be wrong. I wonder what they are all saying now? I also wonder if they know the truth?




As a lot of us do, I head over to Google in order to check that my understanding of the word ‘accusations’ is correct. It is defined by a quick search as – what I thought it was. Which is;

I am not one to openly throw around accusations, there is one thing I questioned recently, I won’t go into it, but basically I was approached and told something and when I questioned it, the dates didn’t add up 100%, so it was left like that. However I did state at the time of questioning that I was waiting for further information to back that information up.

Today I was told I had made “many accusations” against someone. Now technically, I have made claims, but NONE of these are lies. I have been an anxious and scared mess for far too long and I refuse to hide any more. I cannot live in a heightened state of fear forever. I cannot. I refuse to.

Not my Image.

This is a short and sweet post, really to vent some feelings, following a day that started with some production, getting some important financial things for the divorce set in place. Before moving on to going through old photos, many of them I had not seen before, with my Mam and sister. Cooking homemade meatballs and sauce and eating at the dinner table with my Mam, sister and brother, before ending the so far so good day with some messages putting me in a rather negative mindset (again).

I’m not playing anybody’s games anymore. The Whatsapp ‘BLOCK’ button has now been used. I cannot take this negativity anymore. All I was trying to do was get things moving and organise things, apparently it isn’t the most important thing to do now – despite my ex planning on ‘kicking me out’ two months before me filing for divorce. But apparently I am the one rushing things.

I just want this all over. I want to be free and out of someone else’s control.

I want to feel safe.