Category Archives: Mental Health

Today I did the dishes

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Today’s accomplishment was the fact that I did the dishes, well the dirty ones we have used anyway.

I have not included all the stuff still packed in boxes that has to be washed before it is put away, purely because it has been in boxes so long it is dusty and needs a good soak!!

I still feel like cr*p and my chest hurts, not to mention I still cannot hear out of one ear!! My body hurts, each joint hurts, especially my knees – must be a sign of getting older and being overweight!! With the infection and cough running has been a big no-no so please do not ask how my half marathon training is going!!

On that note, if you can spare any pennies I would massively appreciate any donations to my page ( see link below ) every single penny goes to Mind – for better mental health.

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If you are a UK Tax Payer, please remember to tick the gift aid box.

https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/StacieMai

Today I may have stayed in the house and only done the dishes, but I got up and did something – I could have stayed in bed all day!!

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Mental Health Awareness Letters – 31st May 2018

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As May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I had an idea to write a letter each day to a person, or group of people that have had an impact on my own personal health. The first portion of the month has been delayed, however I hope that I will catch up and there will be a daily post. Thank You for taking the time to read these and I appreciate any comments or support you can provide on each post.

Please remember that if you are struggling with your health, both physical or mental, there may be some triggers in these letters-please seek support if you find these letters trigger any distress. Look after yourself!!

Letter 31 – The Final Note

I finally beat the writer’s block and finished the task I set myself for this month, this post is being updated late but during this month of letter writing I have had several likes, comments and new followers and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

I planned to write a really long and well-written post for my last post but I am keeping it short and sweet.

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Please remember to check out the Get help and support page for links to services that can help ( please let me know if there are services I can add to the page as it is under construction).

Mental Health Awareness Letters – 30th May 2018

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As May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I had an idea to write a letter each day to a person, or group of people that have had an impact on my own personal health. The first portion of the month has been delayed, however I hope that I will catch up and there will be a daily post. Thank You for taking the time to read these and I appreciate any comments or support you can provide on each post.

Please remember that if you are struggling with your health, both physical or mental, there may be some triggers in these letters-please seek support if you find these letters trigger any distress. Look after yourself!!

Letter 30 – To MIND

Mind has really helped me over the last few months and I am so glad they are there. I have used their InfoLine, Legal Line and have some email addresses and telephone numbers for support.

There is also the chance to get involved, volunteer and fundraise.

Visit https://www.mind.org.uk/ for help and support if you are struggling with your mental health or supporting someone else.

You will also see my face in the Stories section;

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There is also the online support community Elefriends (seriously, give them a visit)

Mind really do not give up until they are able to help you, unlike several other services that say they do not give up or judge, but actually do.

Thank You Mind, for being there, helping me and allowing me the chance to speak up.

 

Mental Health Awareness Letters – 29th May 2018

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As May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I had an idea to write a letter each day to a person, or group of people that have had an impact on my own personal health. The first portion of the month has been delayed, however I hope that I will catch up and there will be a daily post. Thank You for taking the time to read these and I appreciate any comments or support you can provide on each post.

Please remember that if you are struggling with your health, both physical or mental, there may be some triggers in these letters-please seek support if you find these letters trigger any distress. Look after yourself!!

Letter 29 – To my next challenge.

I have decided that I need to sit down and make a new bucket list, I have always had lists here and there of my goals but I have decided to sit down and write it down properly – to visualise the goals.

What I have also decided to do is create a ‘Mental Health & Self Care’ bucket list along with my A-Z Book challenge.

The A-Z bucket list involves me reading a book that starts with each letter of the alphabet.

The bucket list and mental health & self-care bucket lists will be 100 goals each to help me reach goals in life.

What a good idea (if I do say so myself) Let me know if you are doing a similar thing, what is on your bucket lists?

Mental Health Awareness Letters – 28th May 2018

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As May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I had an idea to write a letter each day to a person, or group of people that have had an impact on my own personal health. The first portion of the month has been delayed, however I hope that I will catch up and there will be a daily post. Thank You for taking the time to read these and I appreciate any comments or support you can provide on each post.

Please remember that if you are struggling with your health, both physical or mental, there may be some triggers in these letters-please seek support if you find these letters trigger any distress. Look after yourself!!

Letter 28 – Tattoos

My tattoos have helped me in my life and recovery. I have 14 (I think) although a few of them are being merged into a half sleeve. Once it is completed I will share full images.

If you have a tattoo you know they are addictive and as soon as one tattoo is done, the itch to get the next starts. For me, my tattoos help me put my feelings into art and to me they are a way of self-harming that is creative, as opposed to being harmful.

People judge me for having tattoos, but at the end of the day they would judge me for something else – why not let it be judgement for something I love??

My tattoos represent life, death, memory, surviving terrorism, travel, experiences, scouting and my life.

If my tattoos could talk they could tell stories!!

 

Mental Health Awareness Letters – 27th May 2018

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As May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I had an idea to write a letter each day to a person, or group of people that have had an impact on my own personal health. The first portion of the month has been delayed, however I hope that I will catch up and there will be a daily post. Thank You for taking the time to read these and I appreciate any comments or support you can provide on each post.

Please remember that if you are struggling with your health, both physical or mental, there may be some triggers in these letters-please seek support if you find these letters trigger any distress. Look after yourself!!

Letter 27 – To those stupid numbers!! (I have no idea if the % in the featured image is right but I needed a fact so there you go – this is a huge step for me as it is an odd number!!)

I hate odd numbers!! You may know this about me or you may not!!

I started counting things when I was in my teens and had anorexia, at one point I counted rice grains!! It was that extreme and really hard to live with – especially when it was hidden from others, my best friend noticed I was thinner and some of the girls in school said I looked good when getting changed for P.E at school (I had gone from about 10 stone to 8 stone at this point in a couple of weeks). I almost got caught out once at school when I spent the lunch in a teacher’s office and she asked what I had for lunch and I said nothing, she left me some of her fruit and said I had to eat something, I think I ate an apple but I left the rest for her as I felt so bad.

I like things to be even and it really gets to me if things aren’t even, my car volume and TV volumes are the easiest things to control and I feel a fire burn inside when I do not have things in even numbers- I mean if there are odd numbers I have learnt to adjust,  I can cut them equally so 3 items would turn into 6 halves – but I do freak out if they aren’t all the same size.

Talk about frustration!

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Mental Health Awareness Letters – 25th May 2018

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As May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I had an idea to write a letter each day to a person, or group of people that have had an impact on my own personal health. The first portion of the month has been delayed, however I hope that I will catch up and there will be a daily post. Thank You for taking the time to read these and I appreciate any comments or support you can provide on each post.

Please remember that if you are struggling with your health, both physical or mental, there may be some triggers in these letters-please seek support if you find these letters trigger any distress. Look after yourself!!

Letter 25 – To the upcoming Summer and no University

I really do not know how I am going to cope over the Summer with no University – although it will give me time to breathe and prepare the box room for studies commencing in the Autumn. I need to knock down a little box in the corner of the room to see what is under it and then rebuild it and hopefully make it smaller – if not I will turn it into some sort of unit.

Anyway, I am also doing some non-university courses that will help me understand CBT, train to teach and deliver training and counselling skills level 3 and 4. Definitely enough to get me through the Summer.

Although from the end of this month – Mid July I will be like this;

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Any tips for this anxious time – made worse by anxiety and the inability to remain calm when waiting for results??

 

Mental Health Awareness Letters – 24th May 2018

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As May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I had an idea to write a letter each day to a person, or group of people that have had an impact on my own personal health. The first portion of the month has been delayed, however I hope that I will catch up and there will be a daily post. Thank You for taking the time to read these and I appreciate any comments or support you can provide on each post.

Please remember that if you are struggling with your health, both physical or mental, there may be some triggers in these letters-please seek support if you find these letters trigger any distress. Look after yourself!!

Letter 24 – What Makes Mental Health Worse? Some warning signs with some help from the internet.

Today I decided to be daring and go to ‘Dr Google’  and simply search ‘What makes mental health worse’ – I was interested to see what similarities I may have to others.

I came across this page on www.psychologytoday.com that provides their 5 ‘warning signs of Mental Health Risk’ and I found that I can relate to all 5. Now everyone is different of course but Psychology Today listed the below warning signs;

  • A Change in Personality. If someone is acting like a very different person, or not acting or feeling like themself, this is a warning sign.

This is a big one for people with mental health conditions. Please keep a watchful eye on yourself, or for those you care for. To look for any changes in personality.

  • Uncharacteristic Anxiety, Anger, or Moodiness.

My moods are all over the place and it does not take much for me to feel angry, however, a lot of it is with reason but unfortunately, I cannot go into it. I don’t get PMS due to my PCOS and amenorrhea so PMS has never been an issue. But on occasions, my anxiety flares up quite badly with no reason what so ever, sometimes there is the slightest thing that sets me off and then it is a downhill slope from there, but I have not been able to identify the exact reason for my anxiety – this frustrates some people.

  • Social Withdrawal and Isolation.

I very rarely leave the house, I like to shop at night when there are very few people in the shop, I use scan as you shop and I hate it when there is a problem and I have to call someone over or have a random check on my shopping. I do not go out or go to parties and the thought of being seen by people from work during work time makes me feel worse, another reason why I shop at night (If I can afford it) I feel bad that I am at home all day when they have to go to work.

  • Lack of Self-Care or Risky Behaviors.

Mental Health definitely brings lack of self-care and risky behaviours for me, however, the risky behaviours are very mild. I hate how I do not look after myself as much as I should because of my mental health, washing, getting dressed and eating/exercise can be near impossible. (You may find it disgusting but it is the reality).

  • A Sense of Hopelessness or Feeling Overwhelmed.

This is definitely something I have been feeling lately. The work situation and not working does not help, however being at work was equally overwhelming.

 

Like I said above, this isn’t the case and each individual has their own unique warning signs. Identifying them can be hard and they are not set in stone – things change!!

Mental Health Awareness Letters – 20th May 2018

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As May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I had an idea to write a letter each day to a person, or group of people that have had an impact on my own personal health. The first portion of the month has been delayed, however I hope that I will catch up and there will be a daily post. Thank You for taking the time to read these and I appreciate any comments or support you can provide on each post.

Please remember that if you are struggling with your health, both physical or mental, there may be some triggers in these letters-please seek support if you find these letters trigger any distress. Look after yourself!!

Letter 20 – I am Sorry,

Today I really am feeling sorry for myself.

I should have been in Manchester today. I should be running and remembering those lost last year in Manchester.

But I am not!! And I feel so bad.

I was unwell and sent to hospital, then got sent home in the early hours of the morning to come back for emergency scans and tests, there was no way my body would have held up on the run, but I am determined to run the race – SimplyHealth will not let me defer even with the hospital note so I have to wait until I can put some money aside and wait for 2019 entry and re-enter.

I will get there.

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Mental Health Awareness Letters – 23rd May 2018

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As May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I had an idea to write a letter each day to a person, or group of people that have had an impact on my own personal health. The first portion of the month has been delayed, however I hope that I will catch up and there will be a daily post. Thank You for taking the time to read these and I appreciate any comments or support you can provide on each post.

Please remember that if you are struggling with your health, both physical or mental, there may be some triggers in these letters-please seek support if you find these letters trigger any distress. Look after yourself!!

Letter 23 – To my Family,

Family means a lot to me, I think it is down to losing so many people and having control taken away from me for so many years of my life.

But everybody moves on, I use to be the one who would drive for miles to visit people, but I have got to the point where I don’t want to be the one that always drives, always goes out of my way and fills the tank up to visit people that wouldn’t do the same for me. Since buying our house in January I have had 3 visits from people, 2 of those visits where from my brother. I appreciate people are busy but when you pass the house or go to an event by my home and then say it is too far it really does upset me. What also hurts is the ignoring and not publicising the fact that your near, but guess what?? I always find out!!

I am sorry if this upsets you, but I do not see anyone anymore, some days I look at how much fun my family are having without me I wish I was not here, this is the truth. In all honesty I often find myself (especially lately) thinking it would not matter to a single one of you if I was not here.

But of course you don’t care, after all it is only me!! But I bet if something did happen to me you would all be crying at my funeral – and for what??