I’m not really sure where to start, I am still off work but I cannot really discuss that here.But I am still here, even if I am quiet, I seem to have fallen back into a nocturnal state.

However, one great thing happened at the start of the year, we finally moved into our own home, no more tenancy agreements, no more over-priced rentals and a home that is our own. I just feel so bad that even though I have accomplished something I have always wanted, I am still not happy.

I am lost, I am hurt and I am sad. But I do not know why. Those that do not understand keep asking “What is causing your anxiety?” or “What is causing your depression?”- I’m sorry but if I knew the cause it would not be an issue. Seriously, do not tell me you understand and then ask me stupid questions.

My body hurts and I do not want to do anything, apart from stay inside with my dogs. I have tried my best to start making the house a home but I know it is not enough. I feel that everything should be unpacked, all rooms cleaned and any maintenance or DIY should be done. I should be out running every day and making an effort but I just do not want to. What is wrong with me?

Until next time.